i know my way to greener pastures.

1st Jun 2012 | 4 notes

I’m laying here thinking ~~about you~~
thinking about the way I decided
not to think about you anymore.

How do I know I’m insane? Because
I meet the definition: I keep expecting
you to be some~~one~~thing you’re not

Time and time again it goes around.
I am weak and I am soft and I am
bending and not breaking but ~~that~~

~~doesn’t mean~~ it doesn’t hurt at all.
I am lying here thinking about the
way you always let go of our hugs

first.

31st May 2012

i need to stop investing any resemblance of happiness that i experience in other people. because people will always find a way to let you down.

27th May 2012

i have nothing to lose, because without you, i have nothing to gain.

i will never try to convince myself that i am worth anything again. because every time i get to that happy place, i lose everything.

i am in absolute mourning of every aspect of my damn life. i am beginning to know who i am, and i hate who it is because i am someone that gets taken advantage of and hurt and toyed with. people seem to be addicted to building me up just to tear me down. i will never have faith after this. i will never believe in anything. because i can not count on anything i believe in. i never have been able to, and i never will.

fuck this bullshit.